The King of the Ring
by Kazwise Gamgee
Summary: lotr poem, to the tune of dr seuss's "the cat in the hat"


(Written to the tune of Cat in the Hat by Dr Seuss)  
[And yes, I know 'stealed' isn't a word, but hey, it's my poem! xD]  
  
  
One day in the Shire,  
Set up in a park,  
A tent was a-standing,  
Waiting for the dark.  
  
There Bilbo Baggins,  
Owner of Bag End,  
Would soon give a speech,  
To his family and friends.  
  
It was his birthday, you see,  
He was eleventy-one;  
So he threw a great party  
That was bound to be fun.  
  
It was time for the speech,  
So he stood on a box.  
The gathering grew quiet,  
As silent as a fox.  
  
He gave an odd speech,  
And then on the lawn,  
He said his "Goodbye"  
And in a bright flash was gone.  
  
The party was shocked,  
Not a sound to be heard;  
Then the laughed restarted  
And the atmosphere stirred.  
  
But Gandalf the Grey,   
Wisest Wizard (and tall!),  
Was not easily fooled,  
No, no, not at all.  
  
He followed that Bilbo,  
Right back to his house;  
And there he waited  
Like a cat for a mouse.  
  
He startled poor Bilbo,  
And spoke of a ring;  
He growled at poor Bilbo,  
"You stupid, stupid, little thing!"  
  
"Did you really think  
That out you could slink,  
Without passing the way  
Of Gandalf the Grey?"  
  
"I'm very sorry Gandalf,"  
Said Bilbo, starting to flush,  
"But I still mean to go,   
So away I must rush."  
  
"Then leave Frodo the Ring,"  
Said Gandalf the Grey.  
"You must leave it to Frodo  
While you are away."  
  
Into his pocket,  
Bilbo's hand now strayed,  
And with the thing in his pocket  
His fingers now played.  
  
He let it drop to the floor;  
And went throught the door,  
Said "Goodbye" once again  
And walked off down the lane.  
  
Now Frodo the Hobbit  
Ran into the hole;  
Nearly tripped on the ring  
That Gollum once stole.  
  
His eyes then saw Gandalf,  
Sitting by the fire;  
"He's gone, hasn't he?  
I didn't think he was a liar."  
  
"Frodo," said Gandalf.  
"Yes, Bilbo is gone;  
But he's left you Bag End-  
Yes, even the lawn."  
  
"He's left you that ring,  
As you plainly see;  
But that must be a secret  
Between him, you and me."  
"And me!" said another voice-  
that of Samwise Gamgee.  
  
"Fool of a Took!" said Gandalf.  
"No wait, that's Pippin;  
Aren't you meant to be out  
And that verge-hedge a-clippin'?"  
  
"I should not be here,  
I should not be about;  
But I had to pop in  
Or I could be left out!"  
  
"Oh Mister Gandalf sir,"  
Said Sam on his knees.  
"Don't turn me into nothin' unnatural,  
Oh please, please, please, please!"  
  
"I will not, Samwise Sam,   
Samwise Sam, I will not;  
But I send you now with Frodo,  
And quickly you must go!"  
  
"For that ring it belongs  
To a bad, bad, bad eye,  
And I cannot destroy it,  
No, not me, not I."  
  
"Take it now to Bree,  
To the inn that is there;  
And I will meet you at the inn,  
The inn. That is where."  
  
So Frodo and Sam  
Set out that very day;  
Out into the forest  
That was so far away.  
  
They walked through the village,  
They walked through the the field,  
They walked into two Hobbits  
With vegies they'd stealed.  
  
"Why, hallo Frodo!  
Why, hallo Sam!  
As you know, I am Pippin,  
I am Pippin, I am!"  
  
"We know who you are,   
And we know you too, Merry;  
Now could you please help us  
Get to Buckleberry Ferry?"  
  
"Of course!" said Merry,  
The older of the two.  
"I can get you there fast,  
And that is what I shall do."  
  
They went off at a run,  
Through the forest they ran;  
But they met a Black Rider  
No longer a man.  
  
The Nazgûl he saw them,  
So now they all flew;  
To the jetty of the ferry,  
Sam, Pippin and Merry too.  
  
Frodo was stumbling,  
But with a huge jump;  
Sprang onto the ferry  
and landed with a thump.  
  
So paddling madly,  
The Rider they left on the shore;  
Thinking that would be it,  
No trouble, no more.  
  
They arrived soon at Bree,  
It was pouring with rain;  
They rushed quickly to the gate,  
Not wanting to see the Nazgûl again.  
  
Frodo knocked at the gate,  
And a man's face appeared;  
'Twas man's, not a troll's  
or dwarf's with a beard.  
  
He asked them why  
They had arrived there at Bree;  
Frodo stated the obvious,  
He was travelling with the three.  
  
The gate it now now opened,  
And in they all went;  
But slowly they walked,  
For their energy was spent.  
  
The Prancing Pony Inn,  
Yes that was the place;  
They rushed into that inn,  
Looking for Gandalf's friendly face.  
  
But no Gandalf could they see,  
No, not Gandalf, not he;  
So they spoke to the keeper  
Of the inn there at Bree.  
  
"Gandalf the Grey?  
The old chap with a beard?  
And that pointy blue hat?  
No, he's plain disappeared."  
  
So Frodo and Sam,  
Merry and Pippin too;  
Sat down at a table,  
Wondering what to do.  
  
Sam caught the eye  
Of a strange, cloaked guy,  
Sitting nearby  
"Oh me," and "Oh my!"  
  
"That strange, cloaked man,  
That strange, cloaked man,  
I do not like that strange, cloaked man!"  
  
Sam now spotted Frodo,  
Up on a high table;  
Singing and dancing  
As best he was able.  
  
Then suddenly Frodo  
Fell off the darn thing;  
And after a thump and a thud  
On slipped his Ring!  
  
The crowd that had gathered,  
Watching Frodo for a laugh,  
Saw him disappear  
And now let out a gasp.  
  
Frodo crept to a table  
And took off the Ring,  
And was next to the stanger,  
Who was really a Ranger!  
  
The Ranger he grabbed him  
And dragged him upstairs,  
"That's no trinket you carry,  
You should be more prepared."  
  
"I am Strider," he said,  
"And I am not fey;  
I am a friend of your friend,  
One Gandalf the Grey."  
  
Then all of a sudden,  
Burst in Sam with a crash;  
"You leave Frodo alone,  
Or your face I will smash!"  
  
"Your heart is brave,"  
Said Strider to Sam;  
"But you need not be worried-  
Frodo knows who I am."  
  
Strider now told them-  
All the hobbits he told-  
Of all that he knew  
From being out in the cold.  
  
He told them about  
The Black Rider they'd fled;  
That it was neither man nor ghost-  
Neither living nor dead.  
  
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Hi! Just a note from Kazzie. Well, that's me about 2/6ths done with this poem. Bah. Hope everyone likes it, be sure to post a comment if you do! Or email me and f4lling_st4r@hotmail.com. More will be coming soon!   
Kazwise Gamgee 


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